I saw God today.

Where did I leave off? Oh, right clenching my fists at 3:30 AM thinking I was experiencing a VERY painful braxton, I somehow drifted off back to sleep until husband woke me up at 6:30. He was off hunting and I was on my own for the day, I was sent home the night before so I figured I was okay to send him off up the mountain. I laid in bed clinging onto my pug Gus thinking, praying, and begging him to rid of some of my pain. I knew he would have if he could. I was texting my best friend Lexie all morning debating on going into work or not, I figured it would take my mind off the pain. I got out of bed and through my hair in a bun, not knowing today was THE day. I am so mad at myself all week I had been curling my hair in hopes of having fabulous hair for labor but nope not today. I put some sweats and a hoodie on drove into work. On my 20 minute freeway drive I had about 2 contractions I don't know how I didn't drive my car off the side. I hobbled into my office which I share with my best friend Lexie and sat down around 9:00 am experiencing another contraction. I figured at that point I should maybe time them since the 2 in the car were about 10 minutes apart. There I sat for 2 hours not doing any work, sulking in pain and complaining to my poor co-worker/bff. Around 10:30 I got a call from Ryan letting me know that he was headed up another mountain and he didn't think that he would have service so he was letting me know he would be home around 3:00 that afternoon, of course I said okay. No more then 5 minutes later I had another contraction hit, I was in tears finally after some convincing from Lexie I called Ryan and told him it wasn't a good idea for him to go up that mountain and he needed to head home. I stayed at work a little longer and finally gave up I couldn't fight the pain I was feeling I hopped in my car and called my nurse. I remember the nurse telling me to head in that I sounded like I was in a lot of pain, which I was. I was just too scared to get sent home again for the 4th time embarrassing I tell you. I called my mom and just broke down if I wasn't in labor then there was something seriously wrong because the pain was almost unbearable, she said "I think I get to meet my Grandson today". I will never forget that. I was rushed with excitement! I finally arrived home around 11:00 where husband happily met me. I had a follow up appointment that day at 2:45 so we figured we would time my contractions until than. While staying in touch with my nurse who was encouraging me to just head in I was determined to not be sent home again, there I lie on the couch sobbing praying for someone to relieve the pain. It was officially the worst pain I had ever felt in my entire life!

(Our last picture as a family of 2 just us.)

By this point my contractions were about 6-7 minutes apart, I had a good one hit at 1:45 and finally told Ryan that I had to go in, I could not stand the pain any longer I had been dealing with it since 3:30 that morning! I was exhausted, I remember hitting every red light on the way hoping I had everything I needed. I stood at L&D check in crying I was in major pain and the lady knew it. Finally I was hooked up to monitors and I remember my heaven sent angel Jenna telling me that I was dilated to a 3 and they were going to keep me. I was progressing fast, I called my mom and let her know that she was right and we were going to have a new handsome family member! Husband and I were so ecstatic. I remember my Facebook status letting everyone know "Krew is just as spontaneous as his mama, and he is on his way"! Ryan of course was starving and since I was only dilated to a 6 he decided he would run down to the cafeteria, my mom dad and sister were in the room keeping me company. By the time he returned I was at a 10, he ate as fast as I have ever seen him eat, the catheter had been blocking the rest of my cervix from thinning and Krew was sunny side up there we waiting another hour for me to finish thinning and Krew to turn! I remember Dr. Brown saying "He has a ton of hair!" I was thinking just like his mama I was so ready to meet him, I remember the presence I felt from my Grandmother who passed in 2006, I needed her there more then I had ever needed her before. There is not doubt in my mind that she was there with me, encouraging me and keeping Krew and I safe I can't thank God enough for that moment in time when I had her here with me again they both knew I needed her and he delivered. I remember looking otuside and it was snowing, it was a beautiful sight and I hate snow! (later, I was told the storm put a TON of women in labor and most born were boys!)  After 1 hour of pushing I was exhausted the Dr told me I had about 2 more pushes I asked for it to be 1 big push!!

At 8:27 the most precious, beautiful, inspiring soul met eyes with me. In that moment I am forever changed. Meeting  his eyes for the first time was the most amazing thing I have ever experienced better than anything I ever will experience! I cry thinking about that moment in time, when the clock stopped ticking when time stood completely still. I finally had my baby boy he was in safe in my arms. After being examined for his lungs since he was early I was able to hold him and my mom, sister, and best friend walked in. I was over joyed and so ready to share him with the world. I was tired, so tired. I put my cheetah on and put a happy face on! I won't feel you with the nonsense of the hospital, just know he is the best thing that has happened to me. I love this boy and I am so proud to be his mama. He #1 fan, his best friend, his confidant, and his first love. ::swoon::