Emotions

The movie "My Girl" & hormones/PMS do not mix. I lie here tonight a ball full of emotions. Gratitude, sadness, happiness, loss, excitement all the feels.

To my dear Ryan: you mean the world to me, you are snoring away right now but without that snoring I would have no place to call home, someday I will miss it. You are my heart & my soul. My very best friend but sometimes my very worst enemy. You bring out the VERY best in me, & the very worst in  me. That is why I love you. You support me in every single thing that I do, you tell me how beautiful, smart, & talented I am and you truly  believe that I can move mountains, that alone means the world to me. You're the best lover & the best fighter. You keep score but only to my benefit because you know I don't like to lose. Your sense of humor, although vulgar is my very favorite. The curls you get when you really need a hair cut make my heart patter & the way you father melts me. When I think of you I think of your dad & the huge loss we went through, together we made it. Stronger than ever & I look forward to so many more years with you & more downs then ups! But how are UPS are always that much better. I love you.

My Krew bear, you are the light that brightens my world. You are my adventurous one, my chatter box, my wild child. Always asking questions & always wanting to learn. For now you think we are getting married & that alone makes me the happiest mama! Someday, I will be the saddest mama, when you do find your very own soulmate. However, I will be so proud of the man you have become. You are so kind & gentle with your sister. I can always depend on you when I get lonely & you are always here to shell out the biggest hug when you know my mama heart needs one the most. I love you to the moon & back.

My koko girl, I couldn't have ever dreamt of a daughter more perfect than you. You have every feature of your daddy's, but you have that fire deep down just like your mama. You have the most kissable cheeks & thighs & I know you have so many mountains to climb. Keep that fire burning & never let anyone try to put it out. You my sunshine are the greatest baby girl & I am so lucky you chose me to be your mama! I know you had some extra time with your Papa Barras, we miss him so. Thank you for bringing some of him down with you. Thank you for showing me signs of my own Grandma and thank you so very very much for making me the very best women, wife, & mom. Because I know you're watching. I love your little firey soul more than you'll ever know.

To my God thank you for giving me those 3 things, without them nothing else would matter or exist. They make my world go round & I learn to love more each & everyday.

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