Honesty

Our last holiday as a family of 3! How exciting right?! To be honest, I am nervous. Maybe a little sad. I will feel so guilty for feeling this way, but I assume once baby lady is here all of these fears will disappear. In my defense, I love it being just us 3. Our nightly routine of dinner, & clean-up, Krews new favorite thing is to put the soap cube in the dishwasher, close it, then close the dishwasher. He says "No, let me do it." After cleanup, we head upstairs. At least every other night he needs a bath, ya know a good soak just to get the dirt off. He always asks me to bath with him. I happily oblige. Then we all snuggle in our king bed so tightly. Sometimes we watch Disney movies, sometimes we just play and Krew dances and does jumping jacks for us. Sometimes he plays his annoying games on the iPad. Then we do a family kiss and fall into a deep sleep. Yes, we still co-sleep, yes it will probably be hell with a newborn, no I don't want your opinion. I am going to miss these times. Just us 3.

We are so in the groove of things, just us 3. We have our own routines, our own silly jokes. I am nervous of losing these. Not having them with my sweet innocent 2.5 year old little boy, I am nervous that I won't take the time to stick my nose in his neck crevice and smell his sweet, sweaty, boy self. I am nervous that the second he turns into a big brother he will lose all sweet innocence, I am nervous that my husband and I will slowly lose time for ourselves and most importantly each other. All of these thoughts have me bursting into tears.

I don't do well with change and as much as I keep telling myself how wonderful, fantastic, and awesome this new journey is going to be I am so damn nervous, so sad. I'm really leaning on my family and my friends to help me push through this change in my life, my best friend Whitney for always giving me advice just the way I need it delivered. My sister in law Jess for her honest, blunt, and loving advice, she usually has the right things to say. And of course my mom who knows me better than anyone else.

This Easter I found myself cherishing every little thing that went into our day. I will always hold these pictures so close to my heart.