Dig Deep

I feel like my posts sometimes can be real depressing. I don't mean them to be that way, I am just trying to be upfront and honest with the struggles in my day to day life. I am not perfect, nor do I think I am. I hate the persona that goes around the social media world of people thinking acting like their life is perfect. It's not. It's far from. So today I am going to dig deep and count my so many blessings instead of focusing on my trials.

Yesterday I dropped my baby off with his new nanny. He loves to play with the kids there, me leaving isn't easy. I don't do the typical drop him off and sneak out the back door like a ninja thing, I set him down, tell him I have to go to work, and me, dad, or Grandma will be there to pick him up. And I leave. Sometimes he cries, sometimes he is too distracted. Those days when he cries, pulls on my heart strings. It is so hard for me not to run back in and save him. I know what I am going is the right thing, it just takes a few minutes for me to dig deep and realize this.

Last night as I was rocking my baby to sleep, I had an epiphany. My baby will be 1 in less than 1 month from now. I am going to try and rock that lil' sucker to sleep as much as I can. As I rocked him I talked softly to him. I told him how much I loved him, how spoiled I felt that God chose me to mother him teach him, and be by his side. I also promised him I would always be by his side. I will always be his best friend. He slowly started drifting. As I told him he was my greatest blessing he looked up at me and gave me a little smirk. Y'all God works in mysterious ways. I needed that, it's almost as though the smirk meant he knew. He knew and understood what I was saying and he felt so comfortable with me in knowing I will always keep my promises.

Despite, my crazy work schedule, being my wife, best friend, sister, event planner, and all the other things that come along with working 40 plus hours in the office and than going home and putting in 40 plus more I am so fucking blessed.

I need to step back and breath more. Take it all in. It is hard for me to wrap my head around how lucky I am. I have the most supporting husband, parents, sister, and friends a girl could ever ask for. And that folks at the end of the day is all that matters.

So again,
I am digging deep this next month before my baby turns 1 and realizing how blessed I truly am.


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