Tiger Daisy

This past month I had pleasure to get my hands on the Tiger Daisy diaper bag! I chose the Hudson and I love everything about it! It's so versatile and perfect for mamas with 1 or more babies! It has 2 separate compartments which is so ideal to keep each one of  the kids' thing apart from each other! Especially with how much you need for just O N E baby!

 I found the side strap to be extremely comfortable and it sits on my shoulder perfect, and gives me enough grip to feel confident with it on my shoulder, my baby on my hip and my toddler in my other hand!

The zippers are amazing quality and so easy to use and get into when my hands are full!

I mean the color is gorgeous and my husband even feels comfortable carrying it around!

You can check out the Hudson and their other gorgeous bags HERE. You really won't regret getting this if you need SPACE in a bag. PLUS use promo code: sarah30 for 30% off!! What mama doesn't need space?

c/o: Tiger Daisy

xoxo

Sarah

Things you never want to forget

There are just somethings in life you never want to forget. For me, one of those is that innocent look your babies give you when they just peer deep down into your soul.

My baby girl is now 1. I can't even believe it, it's like each day I try to soak in the depths of the babyhood she has left. It's fleeting & fleeting FAST! Little Sun Hat sent us the sweetest bonnet that I feel puts her at a stand still. I don't wan't to take it off of her, she looks so small, so sweet, so innocent. I never want that to go away.

I mean do they not just make her look like just like a little baby doll. This will be something I cherish forever & keep for her children and her children's children! Her very first heirloom.

I am going to hold these pictures so close to my heart. This bonnet is made so well, the material is such great quality not to mention the styles they have are the cutest! Go check them out and pick up an heirloom for your little one!



c/o: Little Sun Hats

xoxo

Emotions

The movie "My Girl" & hormones/PMS do not mix. I lie here tonight a ball full of emotions. Gratitude, sadness, happiness, loss, excitement all the feels.

To my dear Ryan: you mean the world to me, you are snoring away right now but without that snoring I would have no place to call home, someday I will miss it. You are my heart & my soul. My very best friend but sometimes my very worst enemy. You bring out the VERY best in me, & the very worst in  me. That is why I love you. You support me in every single thing that I do, you tell me how beautiful, smart, & talented I am and you truly  believe that I can move mountains, that alone means the world to me. You're the best lover & the best fighter. You keep score but only to my benefit because you know I don't like to lose. Your sense of humor, although vulgar is my very favorite. The curls you get when you really need a hair cut make my heart patter & the way you father melts me. When I think of you I think of your dad & the huge loss we went through, together we made it. Stronger than ever & I look forward to so many more years with you & more downs then ups! But how are UPS are always that much better. I love you.

My Krew bear, you are the light that brightens my world. You are my adventurous one, my chatter box, my wild child. Always asking questions & always wanting to learn. For now you think we are getting married & that alone makes me the happiest mama! Someday, I will be the saddest mama, when you do find your very own soulmate. However, I will be so proud of the man you have become. You are so kind & gentle with your sister. I can always depend on you when I get lonely & you are always here to shell out the biggest hug when you know my mama heart needs one the most. I love you to the moon & back.

My koko girl, I couldn't have ever dreamt of a daughter more perfect than you. You have every feature of your daddy's, but you have that fire deep down just like your mama. You have the most kissable cheeks & thighs & I know you have so many mountains to climb. Keep that fire burning & never let anyone try to put it out. You my sunshine are the greatest baby girl & I am so lucky you chose me to be your mama! I know you had some extra time with your Papa Barras, we miss him so. Thank you for bringing some of him down with you. Thank you for showing me signs of my own Grandma and thank you so very very much for making me the very best women, wife, & mom. Because I know you're watching. I love your little firey soul more than you'll ever know.

To my God thank you for giving me those 3 things, without them nothing else would matter or exist. They make my world go round & I learn to love more each & everyday.

Mom N' Tot Box Review

Friends! It's has been awhile hasn't it? Well, I'm back! I have so much going on and I cannot wait to share it all! First off I want to share my review with Mom N' Tot Box, I LOVED it!

I chose the sibling subscription box! It was so simple, I let them know their ages, & gender & the box was shipped! We had a blast opening it & my kids love it! I did a full review on my YouTube Channel go check it out & make sure to subscribe. I think my favorite things that came in the box were the cute little wooden camera for Koko and the little shorts for Krew! Also, the crayons are perfect because they are organic and toxic free!


Below is a list of all things included!

The shorts are from Sewing for Sunshine you can find them on IG @sewingforsunshine or online at Sewing For Sunshine. I CANNOT wait to get my babies bums into these!

Shopwrenn is super cute nail polish! I can't wait to take it to my next manicure appointment! They also sell gemstone jewelry. You can check them out at Shopwrenn their rings are GORGEOUS!

Bellascasa is handmade Montessori & educational toys. They provided us with super great & cute black & white pictures perfect for Koko's learning, advancing brain! Very stimulating. You can find them at Bellascas.

Me 4 Kidz I loved loved loved this one, it's the CUTEST little First Aid kit that fits perfectly in my Fawn diaper bag. You can find them at Me 4 Kidz or on Instgram @mr4kidz.

Forever Afters: CUTEST handmade toys that are made to last a lifetime!

Childhoodlist The best handmade crayons, non toxic, & eco friendly. Perfect for my 1 year old who loves to color with my 4 year old, yet she still tries to eat them. You can find them online at Childhoodlist they even have NATURAL play-doh!

Little Wooden Wonders CUTEST handmade natural toys. You can find them on Instagram @littlewoodenwonders


I love that this box is great for ANY age not just newborn to 6 months. It has helped my 4 year old not feel left out when it comes to his little sister! This would serve as an awesome baby shower gift with the 3 month subscription option! I will definitely be renewing for my June Box!!

The struggle

There are days I struggle. Days where I do not feel like I am matching up to my own expectations, then there are days where I am so giddy, so thankful for all of the wonderful people in my life.

Lately, I've been blessed with friends who have shown they would go to the end of the earth for me and for that I am so thankful. One of my mommy blogger friends over at Mom Boss Movement noticed I needed to be lifted up and I needed a daily reminder of how great I am as a mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend etc.

It's too good to keep to myself and I give all the credit to Brittany! She's a real great person! I hope you enjoy this affirmation as much as I did.


YOU are an incredible being.

A glorious expression.

A beautiful heart.

 A generous soul.

A fabulous body.

Fearfully, wonderfully and intricately fashioned.

Without mess-ups or without a blemish.

YOU are a masterpiece.

Creatively crafted. Deliberately chosen. Chosen for greatness.

YOU were not made for a cage. For a stereotype. For limitations. Or even your own fears.

YOU were made greatly and for great things.

For daring explouts, passionate pursuits, for confident convictions.

YOU are an overcomer. YOU are strong. YOU are a fighter. YOU don't give up.

YOU are not a slave to fear, but an ambassador of love.

YOU are a conduit of freedom. A beacon of hope. A carrier of light.

YOU are redeemed. Free. Forgiven. Loved. Chosen.

And YOU are rad - dare I say radical?

YOU may not be right all the time, but dear one, you are righteous.

YOU are smart, wise beyond your years. Experience and passion are your soul's tutor.

YOU make good choices. YOU are a solid decision maker.

YOU smile at the present and anticipate the future. YOU are unwavering.

Doubt and fear fall at your feet - they cower at the thought of you.

YOU are a leader like no other. You aren't an echo of another, but a unique voice of your own.

YOU are an absolute joy. Because you are YOU. You're enough. There's no one like you.

This world needs you. Your expression. Your kindness. Your eagerness. Your hopefulness. YOU.

A Happiest Birthday with Plum Cakery

I think I understand now why older adults do not like birthdays. They wish they would pass by without any acknowledgment. I also know that each & every day we should be living this life to it's fullest. ESPECIALLY on our day of birth. How lucky are we to celebrate not just ANOTHER day but we just passed another year! I turned 27 two weeks ago, I had been dreading it for awhile. It seems so "late 20's" to me. I woke up the day of my birthday and decided to EMBRACE it! I have no many amazing friends, the BEST family I could ever ask for, a wonderful hardworking husband and 2 beautiful, striving, and healthy children! I worked and then R cooked me dinner for my family and I. I was also so honored to have Alex from Plum Cakery make my delicious birthday cake, I mean the pictures do not even do it justice.

I chose the English Rose Cake, it was vanilla chiffon cake filled with raspberry jam and rosewater buttercream, then frosted in rosewater buttercream. It MELTED in your mouth! Plus the details of the flowers and fresh fruit just topped it off. If you are in Utah and need a cake for any occasion contact Plum Cakery. You will not regret it!

xoxo

Grief Support 101: Part 2

I am on a plane to Las Vegas for a work trip. I've been away from my kids for only 2 hours now and I miss them. I'm not even across the Oquirah mountains & I miss home. Being up this high, seeing everything down at home, the sun on the lake, the familiar streets make it so I can sort of figure out the whereabouts of my kids at my parents.


Seeing the clouds & imagining what the view must be like from heaven is breath taking. It's almost over coming. Suffocating in a way knowing my loved ones up there see this everyday and also get to still enjoy the view of ourselves & children. We don't get that view. We only get glimpses of memories & quick feelings of a sense of closeness to them.

My husband is the strongest human I know. I've said this way before the death of his father, & even the death of his Grandfather that came prior to his dad. I've seen him at his highest highs & lowest lows. I've prayed more than I ever have the last year and a half & I have been tested in ways that have brought out a new Sarah, a new mom, a new wife, & hopefully a new friend. Hopefully a BETTER Sarah.

See, being the spouse of a person grieving is exhausting. It's going to bed feeling so lost, helpless, & sad. Feeling lost in the moment because there is absolutely nothing I can do to help heal my husbands heart. I can be there, I have and always will be here. For him to vent to, cry on, share the happy times with & of course laugh over our hardships once they've passed us by.

I want to be that person for him. So I have fought wars in my own mind. Being patient doesn't just come with being parents, it's vital in a marriage. I've had to be patient and wait for Ryan to be "ready" to sort out his feelings & willing to express them to me.

From day to day I don't know how he's doing, I'm often conflicted on whether I should ask him, in case it sparks more sorrow. He tries to be strong for me, his children, & his sisters. But sometimes seeing him at his most vulnerable is what makes me love him more & more.

August 30th of 2008 I vowed to love him till death to us part & have learned through our almost 8 year wedded journey that it means more than just our own deaths, it's the deaths of people so close to or heart that once they are gone, a piece of that heart is taken.

Ryan is forever changed without his dad, I know this. I have expressed how I feel to him. He's always so compassionate about my feelings & my needs when it comes to the adaptability of things with this new life we live.

They say that for every death a new person is born. For us that is our princess Khloe born just 7 months after the passing. She's our angel, everyone sees so much of Ryan in her. I know my father in law helped piece her together. To make her fit into our family, to be a Barras & of course be a daddy's girl. He knew Ryan needed a little girl to soften his already huge heart.  

To my love Ryan, you know I'm your biggest fan, your soul holds every part of my being & I love you till death do us part. Your dad is so proud of the man you are today & the family you have created. Never forget that.


xoxo

Grief Support 101: Post 1

I've been wanting to type these posts for months, I've never really wrapped my head around HOW I would start this off. I mean, I still don't have my head wrapped around the situation in whole. I of course, wanted my husband's approval before I put out such personal information in regards to his thoughts, emotions, and opinions on the subject. 

Please note that these are just my own opinions & feelings on handling a spouse who is grieving. No names will be used for the privacy of my family, & LOTS of information will be left out but this is more geared toward dealing with, and helping him move forward in the best most positive way possible. 

On Thursday November 20th, 2014 our lives were ripped right from underneath us. I mean literally, we fell flat on our asses. My dear father in law had passed away. We had no warning signs, nothing medically noted that he wasn't going to be with us for the next 20 years NOTHING! We had just found out that we were expecting our 2nd baby & had JUST moved into our new home. I remember the phone call from my husband, when I answered his trembling voice immediately put a pit into my stomach, I knew something was wrong but had no idea the real roller coaster ride we were about to endure. We were both at work, Krew was at his nannies. What do we do? He lived all the way in Idaho, we were a good 2.5 hours away. I knew we needed to get there, for his family. For Ryan to feel as safe, calm, peaceful, and at home as possible. 

I left work in a scramble, went home packed our things planning for the whole weekend away, I called my mom told her our circumstances and decided it would be best if we left Krew with her while we went to arrange what needed done.

We hopped in the car, just the 2 of us so vulnerable, feeling so young, so lost. I remember Ryan being so emotionless, I know he was shocked of course, wishing that he didn't have to let go, wishing it wasn't HIM. He was his dad's only son, they had an incredible bond. We sped to Idaho, many phone calls were made about autopsies, funeral homes, and final arrangements. The whole way there I prayed, I prayed for the strength to help my husband through this, for the strength that NO MATTER what I would stick right by his side, I would be the shoulder he cried on. I promised to myself, God, and Ryan that for better or worse I was here. I was his girl. I had NO idea the extent it would all come to.

There were no final arrangements set in place by my father in law. No will, no executor. We were left speechless, at just 25 & 26 dealing with the death of a parent. Why us? We are so young, why are we doing this for one of our parents? I couldn't understand it, and my faith was tested. Since then it has been tested to the greatest of extents possible.

I am starting this series of posts to help out the spouse of a grieving spouse. It has by far been the hardest thing I have experienced. We all know death is inevitable but being so young, it's a whole nother ball game. Everyday I look at my husband in complete awe, he has handled it better than I know I would, better than I know some people have. I am proud of him but I am also proud of myself. For pushing & pulling my family through this, through the darkest hours, the scariest decisions, and most importantly the patience I have learned in dealing with the grieving process.

It’s been hard to know what to say, when to say it or what to do when your spouse is grieving. I was and still am afraid of intruding, saying the wrong thing, or making him feel even worse. Mostly, I feel there’s little I can do to make things better. While I can’t take away the pain of the loss, I try to provide much-needed comfort and support. I let him know I care, I ask him his feelings from time to time and most importantly, I talk about my father in law. The good times, never the bad times.

I have a few more posts to this but I don't want to get ahead of myself. I want this to be authentic, raw, and as emotional as possible. My husband is my rock, having to turn into his rock has taught my so much about myself, and for that I am thankful. 

xoxo

it's me.

oh hey, it's me. really.. me. I am 2 kids, a part time job, & marathon training DEEP, swinging right into 2016. I haven't blogged since the blur of new motherhood, when I so vaguely remember typing out Khloe's birth story.

(i'm still hooked on coffee, i mean more than i was before!)

So many things have changed, some great, some not so great, and some incredibly stressful. See, I am a stressor. It's hard-wired. The only trait I believe I inherited from my father.

my marriage is stronger than ever, yet so fragile. we are sleep deprived, we don't get a lot of alone time, & the whole hanky panky thing is limited. we co-sleep for god sake.

anyways, krew is now raging into those threenager years, like I mean I ask myself daily if he is 30 or just 3.

Khloe has fit ever so wonderfully into this family. She just completes us, her crazy bed head, her smile with her tongue out, oh & her temper. something I like to think she got from her father. She has so many nick-names, koko, pretty bird, sissy, missy mou, sissy sue, queenie. Koko is a typical girl, the typical baby of the family EVERYONE loves her & EVERYONE wants to hold her.

 A lot has changed with me, my perspective on life, my selflessness, my PPD after baby #2 came (post to come). My personality, my goals, my anxiety, I mean basically everything that comes with being a new mom. AGAIN.

Birth Story- LoLo

I am going to back track this to Wednesday May 13th. I left work early because people in my office were sick & this mama was not about to risk catching a cold so close to my due date. I spent the day laying in bed by myself. That night I had some pretty serious cramping, it had me thinking oh man this is IT! Come Thursday morning they had tapered off and I was doing my usual chores around the house, I was so bummed. Granted I was only 37 weeks but my doctor kept assuring me that I was going to have the baby ANY DAY! Once Krew was asleep Ryan and I were sitting on the couch and I jokingly told him that Friday was the day! It would give him almost 2 weeks off of work if I had her on a weekend. Thursday night came and I woke around midnight with a contraction. I had another one around 5:00 am and another close to 5:45. They were pretty strong, instead of laying in bed I decided to get up and walk around the house. I was not about to let those contractions let up like they did on Wednesday! I walked and walked.. Once it was time for Ryan to go to work I sent him on his way, he hesitated but went anyway. I didn't ACTUALLY think I was going to have baby that day. I can't tell you how many times I walked up and down my stairs and through my hallway into the kids' bedrooms. I was actually tired from walking but I didn't want to lay down because I was nervous it would make the contractions go away. I text a few friends updates and each one strongly encouraged me to go in. Around 9:30 I was having extremely painful contractions every 5-8 minutes. I refused to go in, I didn't want to be sent home. Ryan kept checking in on me, I finally told him to come home and he replied saying if he were to come home we were going to the hospital. So I told him to stay at work! The contractions were still bearable enough I could breathe through them. Close to 15 minutes later I was furiously texting Ryan to hurry home. The contractions were so unbearable I knew I was going to have a baby in the next 24 hours, I laid down and worked through them with my breathing and as soon as Ryan got home I was going to jump in the bath. Looking back I am so glad I labored at home. I was alone, calm, and was able to do things at my own pace. I even had time to snap my 37 week bump picture. I didn't think at the time I was actually in labor!

Ry got home and walked in the bedroom and saw me shriveled in pain on the bed and immediately started loading the car and changed his work clothes. I was fine with waiting and laboring at home but he knew I needed to get in and be seen. We walked slowly to the car and once in the car I had the most painful contraction of all time, in that moment I was so thankful we lived 2 minutes from the hospital. The thought never crossed my mind that I could potentially not have time for an epidural. Once we got to the hospital and checked in we were told I was at a 6 and if I wanted the epidural I needed it within minutes. The anesthesiologist had no time to go through the proper paperwork with me, I mean I was just raging in pain. He did explain that he would need to administer the medication they give to c-section patients to ensure it hit fast enough and strong enough. Five minutes later I was still feeling extreme pain in my left hip so he had to up the dosage again and after a few minutes I was pain-free. I always turn into a wisecrack when medicated. Ryan should have recorded me. I was actually calm, but so excited to meet my daughter! We had always planned on my older sister being in the room with us so as soon as we found out baby would be coming we immediately called her. Ryan told her she didn't have much time. She boogied there man!

I remember her walking in and I thought to myself "Ok, let's do this"! I don't remember how long I was at the hospital until I started pushing, but I do remember the encouragement I felt from my sister and Ryan. One hour later at 11:37 AM on 05/15/2015 our little angel baby was born and placed on my chest. I was never able to have skin to skin with Krew because he was not breathing properly when he came out. I remember kissing her sweet head and just staring at her, I couldn't believe I actually had a daughter! I was filled with so much love, happiness, & excitement. I also couldn't stop thinking about Krew, I couldn't wait for him to meet her. It had been a long 9 months and we, especially him talked about her non-stop. I was in such a dream land for that first hour of skin to skin. We had a photographer coming to snap pictures of Krew meeting his baby sissy for the first time and I couldn't contain my excitement. I felt REALLY good. Way better than I remember feeling after I had Krew. We decided we didn't want to share any pictures of her until Krew met her, so here she is. My beautiful, spunky, sassy, baby girl.

3 6 weeks!!

How far along? 36 weeks!

At my doctors appt last Tuesday I was 2.5 cm and 90% effaced. I was told I could have her Friday or I could waddle around until I hit 40 weeks. With the way I make babies "really small" she will not induce until after 40! 

Weight gain: A whopping 30 pds. I know I have gained more but will know tomorrow  when I go for my weekly. With Krew I never made it to my 37 week check up!

Maternity clothes? Yep.

Stretch marks? None but I am so damn itchy it drives me crazy! I try my best to stay moisturized! 

Sleep: Lately per my doctor I've been taking 1/2 a Unisom and I don't wake up drowsy. I don't sleep all night though I get up 2-3 times to pee.

Best moment this week: Celebrating Mother's Day with my boys and my mom of course.

Miss Anything? Exercise. Beer.

Movement: Her feet are up in my left side. She is pretty strong and they sometimes hurt!

Food cravings: Still don't feel like eating a lot anymore.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Hot baths still, if I wake up to fast I get sick or if I over excrete myself.

Gender: GIRL!

Labor Signs: I have 1-2 good contractions every hour or so.

Symptoms: BH's all day erryday

Belly Button in or out? It's out.

Wedding rings on or off? It depends on the day!

Mood:Anxious.

Looking forward to: Seeing my sweet babe! 

35 weeks!

How far along? 35 weeks with 35 days left to go!

Weight gain: At my doctors appt 1.5 weeks ago I was up 27 pds. I can't even fathom what the scale will do to me when I go back in next week! I am REALLY hoping that baby girl has a couple extra ounces more than her big brother did! I am really starting to mind the fat face, love handles, and arms though. I mean really.

Maternity clothes? Always. I have 3-4 things that I feel comfortable in. Everything else can go burn in hell.

Stretch marks? None! Still! I so have to resist the urge to itch though. I lotion up at work and I just wonder what the person in the stall next to me is thinking.. What are all those sounds? ha ha

Sleep: I take a half of Unisom on the weekends to at least get some sleep. I know I don't get into a deep sleep though. I have been waking with the sorest hips and some pretty bad headaches! I know my time to relax and sleep is super limited though!

Best moment this week: Our sprinkler system and sod should be in and ready by Sunday! Which means I get Ryan back! So excited!

Miss Anything? Exercise, rough housing with the boys, my lungs at regular capacity.

Movement: I don't feel her as much as I use to and I know it's because she is getting bigger! When I do feel her it's pretty painful!

Food cravings: I don't feel like eating much anymore.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Too hot of baths, soda, hamburger.

Gender: GIRL!

Labor Signs: Still have BH's all day everyday! I go into the doctor on Tuesday. Last time I was there I was at a 2 and 80%.

Symptoms: BH's all day erryday

Belly Button in or out? It's out. Like literally out.

Wedding rings on or off? On

Mood: Nervous. Anxious. Excited.

Looking forward to: Mine and hubbys last official date night tomorrow!

xoxo

3 4 weeks!!

How far along? 34 weeks!!

Weight gain: I have gained a WHOPPING 27 pds. Like seriously this is real life. I am so hoping baby girl has a lot more weight to her then Krew did. I am shocked about my weight gained but proud. I can't stop eating this time around which is fine. I eat until I am content. I am trying not to worry about the number. I know I am driven enough to rid of it once she is here and healthy. My #1 focus is having her healthy.

Maternity clothes? Yes! I have 2 dresses that I love and when I am home with Krew I am in leggins and a t-shirt. I sleep in underwear and a sports bra. 

Stretch marks? None! 

Sleep: It sucks, if I nap with Krew I wake up sick. Lately, the past 3 mornings I have woken up with a blinding headache! It's awful! I cannot get comfortable anymore and my hips just ache!

Best moment this week: I have baby girls bag, my bag and Krews bag packed and ready to go!

Miss Anything? Running, A cold beer, Laying on my tummy, My clothes.

Movement: I'm feeling her less and less. She's running out of womb.

Food cravings: Cereal and Sandwiches.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Nothing.

Gender: GIRL!

Labor Signs: I've been having BH's like crazy still but they are not making me progress which is a good sign! If I go into labor now, my doctor will not stop it or try to prolong it. How crazy is that?

Symptoms: BH's all day erryday

Belly Button in or out? It's out. 

Wedding rings on or off? On

Mood: Nervous. My biggest fear this week is Krew changing. He is my baby and will grow into a big brother over night!

Looking forward to: Labor!

3 2 weeks!

How far along? 32 weeks!!

Weight gain: Finally tipping the 20 pd mark and I am just so proud!

Maternity clothes? Yes! Always, I am loving dresses too! Our weather is so bipolar it's hard to get a good idea on what I can and can't use day by day. I do know I refuse to buy more maternity clothes!

Stretch marks? None! Still oiling and applying lotion 3-4 times a day!

Sleep: I have to take a Tylenol PM maybe twice a week. It's those nights I get enough sleep to get me through the week! I have been much better about napping with Krew though. Housework can wait, naps can't!

Best moment this week: We FINALLY did some more laundry for baby girl and got a pretty good idea clothes wise what we still need to get for her!

Miss Anything? I just miss not having an achy back, being able to shave my legs, and mostly just being normal again.

Movement: Oy, she's a strong little thing! Her kicks hurt a lot of the time. I am fortunate that she is not up in my ribs like Krew was!

Food cravings: Nothing really this week.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Nothing.

Gender: GIRL!

Labor Signs: I've been having BH's like crazy! I had a doctors appointment on Tuesday and I am already dilated to a 1 and 50% effaced. I am barely skimming past the bed rest point and I go in 2 weeks to have steroid shots to help her little lungs develop a little more!

Symptoms: BH's all day erryday

Belly Button in or out? It's out. 

Wedding rings on or off? On but slightly tight!

Mood: Excited! Ready to feel like ME again!

Looking forward to: Our baby sprinkle tomorrow and organizing things! Hospital bags must be packed ASAP!

Honesty

Our last holiday as a family of 3! How exciting right?! To be honest, I am nervous. Maybe a little sad. I will feel so guilty for feeling this way, but I assume once baby lady is here all of these fears will disappear. In my defense, I love it being just us 3. Our nightly routine of dinner, & clean-up, Krews new favorite thing is to put the soap cube in the dishwasher, close it, then close the dishwasher. He says "No, let me do it." After cleanup, we head upstairs. At least every other night he needs a bath, ya know a good soak just to get the dirt off. He always asks me to bath with him. I happily oblige. Then we all snuggle in our king bed so tightly. Sometimes we watch Disney movies, sometimes we just play and Krew dances and does jumping jacks for us. Sometimes he plays his annoying games on the iPad. Then we do a family kiss and fall into a deep sleep. Yes, we still co-sleep, yes it will probably be hell with a newborn, no I don't want your opinion. I am going to miss these times. Just us 3.

We are so in the groove of things, just us 3. We have our own routines, our own silly jokes. I am nervous of losing these. Not having them with my sweet innocent 2.5 year old little boy, I am nervous that I won't take the time to stick my nose in his neck crevice and smell his sweet, sweaty, boy self. I am nervous that the second he turns into a big brother he will lose all sweet innocence, I am nervous that my husband and I will slowly lose time for ourselves and most importantly each other. All of these thoughts have me bursting into tears.

I don't do well with change and as much as I keep telling myself how wonderful, fantastic, and awesome this new journey is going to be I am so damn nervous, so sad. I'm really leaning on my family and my friends to help me push through this change in my life, my best friend Whitney for always giving me advice just the way I need it delivered. My sister in law Jess for her honest, blunt, and loving advice, she usually has the right things to say. And of course my mom who knows me better than anyone else.

This Easter I found myself cherishing every little thing that went into our day. I will always hold these pictures so close to my heart.

Maternity Pictures

During my last pregnancy I wasn't confident enough to get maternity pictures taken. I wish someone had made me just do it. This pregnancy is totally different, I feel way better rockin' my bump and I love to show it off. I honestly credit my confidence to motherhood. I love being a mom and cannot wait to be a mother to a little girl! We will have one of each and honestly it is beyond my wildest dreams! When the most amazing, talented, beautiful person inside and out reached out to me about modeling a dress in an orchard field for a maternity shoot with Krew I was blown away! We never had a set date until about 3 days before because Utah's weather is super unpredictable and we wanted the blooms at their very best! Well they were initially going to be taken on Thursday we took them Wednesday night! I got off work after a 10 hour day, I had been nauseous ALL dang day, I forgot shoes, and we left Krews shirt on the table! We had like 30 minutes before the shoot and luckily found a Target for a shirt for Krew! The shoot ended up being AMAZING! I froze my buns off but after 20 minutes or so I was use to the cold!

If you are in Utah you must go check out http://www.marissavargasonphotography.com/ for ALL portraits you need taken. Her soft, airy style meets mine so perfectly! We have a shoot scheduled with her for when Krew meets his baby sissy! I hope you like these as much as I do, I cannot thank Marissa enough for the fun opportunity! There is also a short video on my instagram (sarah.barras)

These are just a few of the many she took! I mean is she amazing or what?!

xoxo

30 w e e k s!!

(29 weeks with my little lover boy!)

How far along? 30 weeks!!

Weight gain: I'm up 18 pounds! Still feeling like chasing Krew everywhere and always being on the go is keeping the scale down. Which honestly, if my doctor says I am fine then I am happy with it! With Krew I was up 20-23 pds.

Maternity clothes? Yes! Yes! Yes!

Stretch marks? No, praise the lawd!

Sleep: My 3 10 hour works days really take it out of me. I sleep ok, I get up 4-5 times a night to pee and sometimes have a hard time falling back asleep! I LOVE to sleep in and take naps with Krew though!

Best moment this week: We've had a heck of a week. Ryan's been working late and we've just been trying to push through. It's been one of those!

Miss Anything? My back is constantly hurting. Like always. I miss rolling all over the floor with the boys, and running, and not peeing when I sneeze!

Movement: Her movements are starting to her A LOT more. Since she is getting bigger they are getting stronger! She likes to hang out in my left hip area!

Food cravings: Cold cereal!!!

Anything making you queasy or sick: Nothing.

Gender: GIRL!

Labor Signs: Nada, my exercise and lifting of Krew needs to subside in 2 weeks. Per doctors order!

Symptoms: No fortunately!

Belly Button in or out? It's out. 

Wedding rings on or off? It depends! Last week they were off, this week they are on!

Mood: Nervous, Anxious.

Looking forward to: My birthday weekend and spending time with my family!!

(10, 20, 30)

xoxo

2 8 w e e k s!

How far along? 28 weeks!

Weight gain: I had my last monthly appointment last Wednesday and will now be seen every 2 weeks! How crazy right?! I am up 16 pds from my pre-pregnancy weight. Looking back with Krew HERE I was up 20-23 pds. My doctor said I am healthy and on track as far as my weight goes so I am happy with it! I think chasing a toddler and working full time is helping keep the #'s down though. I can't just eat a doughnut and lay on the couch! Sure would be nice though! I do want to note that I am super nervous about losing the weight after my 2nd baby. Everyone I have talked to have told me how hard it is. We will see! I am pretty determined! 

Maternity clothes? I cannot fit into regular jeans. I do still fit into some of my shirts which is nice to change it up. I am starting to wear more dresses as the weather gets warmer! When I am home I just wanna be in my sweats of course!

Stretch marks? No! I am still oiling up 3 times a day maybe 4. I have some pre-existing ones on my thighs but they don't seem to be getting any worse. None on my tummy though!

Sleep: Sleep is good. There have been a few nights when I have needed Tylenol PM but for the most part it's ok. If I wake up to pee I usually have a hard time falling back asleep or if I nap with Krew in the afternoon, I can't go to bed till pretty late.

Best moment this week: Krew and I went on a mom and son date yesterday! We went to ride the trains it was so much fun. I am really enjoying spending time with just him. I know it's gonna be over so soon! 

Miss Anything? I mean feeling normal counts. My body is so stretched out it hurts. My ribs ache pretty bad.

Movement: I feel her a lot more during the day now. She still comes kickin' right around bedtime! She is recognizing her daddys voice and big brothers too!

Food cravings: Rice krispie treats, Siracha with chicken still, lots and lots of water and sometimes a fresh lemonade!

Anything making you queasy or sick: Nothing.

Gender: GIRL!

Labor Signs: The past 3-4 days my BHs have been TERRIBLE!! Some of them really hurt! 

Symptoms: BH's are pretty strong, I pee ALL the time, and I get sore really easily!

Belly Button in or out? It's out. My sister called it an alien!

Wedding rings on or off? Off. Sadly.

Mood: Happy! I am getting nervous about the big change of course.

Looking forward to: Our baby shower in 1 month!